You Gotta Be Kitten Me: Hiss-terical Cat Jokes, Just Fur Fun!

TALES BLOG / Just Fur Fun

They say that laughter is the best medicine. Well at Hand in Paw, we think time spent with our furry friends is the best medicine. Today, let’s have both!
So curl up with your kitty, read these amazing cat jokes, and have a laugh – doctor’s orders 😉🐾


What color do kittens love the most? Purrple.


What does the cat say after making a joke? "Just kitten!"


Why did the kitty get an "A" on their English assignment? They properly used an independent claws.


Why did the cat avoid eating lemons? They made him a sour-puss.


Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane? She let the cat out of the bag.


Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk!


Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives!


A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The cat says, “A shot of whiskey.” The bartender pours the cat his drink. Slowly, the cat pushes the shot off the bar…immediately demanding, “ANOTHER!!”


What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan.


Optimists: The glass is half full.
Pessimists: The glass is half empty.
Cat owners: The glass is knocked over.


What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?  Claw and Order


Me: *Sobbing* One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me!
Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behavior


If a cat loses its tail, where does it go? The retail store.


What kind of car does a cat drive? A Furrari.


What did the kitten have at their birthday party? A pounce house.


What sports do cats play? Hairball!


What’s another name for a cat’s house? A scratch pad!


Why was the cat using the computer for hours on end? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.


Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark.


What's a kitten's favorite kind of sticker? Scratch and sniff.


A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. “What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”


A fun part of having a black cat is occasionally accidentally talking to a crumpled up black T-shirt on the floor.


Why do cats hate laptops? They don't have a mouse.


Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it littered.